Tips for dads

Here are ways to intimidate your daughter's boyfriend when he arrives to pick her up:

• Sprinkle some dust on your daughter before she leaves. Explain, "It makes fingerprinting easier."


• Challenge him at arm wrestling


• Introduce him to your good friend Chuck Norris


• Walk on stilts


• Casually show him your collection of five shrunken heads, then yell up to your daughter: "Number six is here!"


• Go to the door bare-chested and do a lot of flexing


• Introduce him to the family by calling each family member to the living room using a whistle, then making them stand at attention and salute


• Answer the door in a straight jacket


• As they leave, talk into a walkie-talkie: "Subject is wearing khakis and a blue polo-shirt, driving a green car."