chinese horoscope

didn't manage to read finish this whole chunk of chinese words... apparently halfway through i got severe headache for burning too much braincells just trying to understand what my horoscope reads... and yes my chinese s**k more than you can ever imagine...

from what i could understand, bottomline is just trying to tell me:
"you are a hardcore EMO!!!"

the chinese version gave me headache, the english version left me even more clueless and 'humorized'... hahahaha...


Chinese Version:
巨蟹星座的女人

下筆寫巨蟹座的女人，我非常擔心自己不夠客觀。從小到大，身邊總是有好幾個巨蟹座的好友，我似乎對這個星座下出生的女子，有著特別的感情。我想，那或許是她們溫暖的個性，很容易贏得友誼的緣故。而當彼此真的成為朋友之後，就是你一會兒陪她高興，一會兒陪她傷心的日子了。我有時覺得她們善解人意的可愛，有時又氣她們敏感、情緒化的莫名其妙。而至於想要跟她們談戀愛的你呢！這樣的感受恐怕比我有過之而無不及！

溫和又體貼的巨蟹座女子，很容易給人「戀愛」的感覺。如果你是一個追求「愛的感覺」的人，選擇她，你肯定不會失望。巨蟹座的女人通常會給男人一種「如果失去你的愛，我的人生便毫無意義」的信心。這真是很多男人夢寐以求的感受。不過，如果你只是個把戀愛當遊戲的人，請千萬不要去招惹她，因為，第一，這對一個真情真意的巨蟹女子來說真是太殘了，巨蟹座的女人是玩真的，感情絕不是她們輕易褻瀆的東西；第二，對於某些蟹座的女子來說，如果她的愛上你，想要擺脫她可沒有這麼容易。你應該知道被螃蟹鉗住想脫身有多難的，是不是？她的纏鬥精神會讓你非常驚訝，我看過一個背叛巨蟹座女子的男人的下場。此起《致命的吸引力》好不到那兒去。當然，只有極少數的蟹座女子會有如此殺傷力，不過，你還是別心存僥倖為妙。

她的溫柔體貼，以及全心全意的愛會讓你感動的不得了，很少有女人會讓你覺得自己是那麼的重要。但是她的情緒化也很可能弄得你幾乎瘋掉。她非常沒有安全感，敏感而且容易受傷。常常你的一句無心之言，就會弄得她淚流滿面，或者生氣不安。蟹座的女人有兩種，當然正常的時侯都如溫暖的太陽一樣可愛，但是鬧起情緒的時侯，一種是帶雨梨花型，另一種就是定時炸彈型。如果你遇上的是前者，情況比較幸運，平常多帶兩包面紙就好了。若是後者，恐怕精神壓力就比較大些了。 　　 　　讓她心情陰晴不定的原因有千百種，可能是因為她忽然覺得你好久不曾擁抱她了。也可能是你剛才對她女朋友說話的語氣太溫柔了。甚至可能是你剛才開玩笑，說她新燙的頭髮像鳥窩。對了！我忘了提醒你，最好不要隨便批評，或是揶揄你那蟹座的小女人，她幾乎脆弱的經不起一絲絲愛人對她的挑剔。總而言之，包括月亮的陰晴圓缺、海水的潮汐，都可能是影響她情緒的原因，而她最大的隱憂，就是她始終在擔心，擔心自己是不是夠好，擔心你是不是不再愛她了，她經常需要你的證實。所以我認為，對你而言，最簡單的方法就是直接告訴她吧！

我有個巨蟹座朋友的老公告訴我，她每天起碼問他十次「你還愛我嗎？」而我另一個個性比較強烈的蟹座朋友乾脆直接要求她的老公每天要說二十遍「我愛妳」。你很難相信對不對？但是我發誓，這是千真萬確的。

我想，除了真心愛她，沒有更好的相處之道了，但你必須切記愛她的方法絕不是姑息。當她鬧情緒的時侯，給她溫柔的安慰，等她心情平穩下來之後，你必須很誠懇的告訴她，她過度的情緒化，對你造成了什麼樣的傷害！把你真實的感受讓她知道，她是真心愛你的，她會知道應該適度的修正自己。千萬不要一昧的息事寧人，你會把她寵壞的。蟹座女子有個奇怪的特性，那就是如果你不告訴她「夠了」，她就會不斷的嘗試，看你能夠容忍她到什麼地步。她似乎很難明白什麼叫「適可而止」。到最後她的情緒化會到了自己都無法控制的地步，當然，你也終究會忍無可忍的。

我有幾個蟹座朋友的婚姻，就是這樣出問題的！到最後她當後悔當初自己太任性。但是憑良心說，那個姑息養奸的丈夫，多少也該負些責任。怎麼能在寵壞她之後，再到外面去尋求溫柔的慰藉呢？說也奇怪，當巨蟹座的女子感情出了問題後，她們採取的行動也會讓你大為警訝；在傷心難過之餘，蟹座的女子很可能會去告訴丈夫的新歡，應該做什麼菜才合他的口味；她可能會從洗衣店把他洗好的西裝送到「他們」的住處；她更可能用私房錢幫他付信用卡的帳單。你不相信嗎？我再發誓，這是真的。當我的蟹座朋友告訴我她們的偉大事蹟時，我也幾乎昏倒。她們就是這樣，有的時侯可惡的過分，有的時侯又好的過份。她需要你寵她，她也相對的寵你。對蟹座女子來說，寵壞一個男人似乎是佔有他的最好辦法，即使你今天離開了她，等你想清楚了，遲早還是會回到她身邊的，因為沒人會像她那樣愛你了。

所以，你應該明白，你必須學習用適當的方法愛她。如果你懂得相處之道，她會是個不可多得的妻子。你可以一生享受愛情的甜蜜，她會為你們的家一無保留的付出。蟹座的女性還有一個特點，那就是平時她雖然一副脆弱、情緒化，一副沒有你就活不下去的樣子，但是真的當你們遭遇到現實中的問題，連你都絕望助的時侯，她會變成一個堅強又有韌性的女人。你可以像孩子投進母親懷抱一樣的去依賴她，她會細心的醫療你的傷口，堅強的陪你共度難關。多數巨蟹座的女子都很有金錢觀念，懂得量入為出的道理。（除非她有一個揮霍的月座或上升星座）通常她只會在心情沮喪（覺得你不愛他）的時侯，才會亂花錢來平撫內心不安的情緒。為了你的荷包著想，常常給她「愛的感覺」才是明智之舉。

請用一種成熟而且負責的態度去愛她！不要在寵壞她之後，再責怪她！真心的愛一隻蟹子你會得到豐富無比的回饋。我衷心的希望我的每一位蟹座好友，都能遇到一位好男人。

巨蟹座的女人與「性」
巨蟹座女子的性愛是有些靦腆害羞的，很難把性愛當成一種遊戲！如果對方有著玩樂的態度，會讓她覺得不安，甚至生氣。她是要在場所隱蔽，對方非常誠懇投入的情況下，才能被引導進入情況。但一旦進入情況之後，是能夠全然耽溺其中的。巨蟹座女子的性愛可以十分激情，但是可能比較缺乏技巧和幽默感。

English Version: (using google translator, reminds me of beijing english)
Cancr woman Tianxiren

write write Cancer woman, I am very concerned about their lack of objectivity. From small to large, there is always around several Cancer friends, I seem to be born of this constellation of women, a special feelings. I think that is probably their warm personality, it is easy to win the friendship's sake. When each other really become friends, is that you now happy with her, with her sad moment of the day. I sometimes feel that their savvy cute, and sometimes their gas sensitive, emotional and bewildered. As regards to their falling in love with you? This is worse than than I feel I am afraid!

Cancer moderate and considerate woman, it is easy to give "love". If you are a pursuit of "love feeling" people choose her, you certainly will not be disappointed. Cancer woman usually give men a "If you lose the love, my life would have no meaning" confidence. This is the feeling of many men dream. However, if you just love the game of the people, please do not to provoke her, because, first, the intent of the true feelings of a woman, it was too Cancer residues, Cancer woman is playing really, no feelings They are not easy things desecration of the second, for some crab Block, the woman, if she's in love with you, she may not want to shake off so easily. You should know that the crab Anzhu how difficult it is to get away, is not it? Her spirit will let you wrangle with each other very surprised, I saw a woman betrayed Cancer fate of the men. Hence, the "fatal attraction" to where less than good. Of course, only a very small number of women have come to such a crab Block of mass destruction, but you should not take a chance is the best.
Her gentle caring, love and dedication will let you moving unnerving, very few women will let you think they are so important. But her emotional and may also make you almost Fengdiao. She is very insecure, sensitive and easily wounded. Often you an inadvertent statement, it will make her tears, angry or disturbed. Crab at the two women, of course, normal, Hou be as warm sun as cute, but Naoqi emotional when Hou, a Ewha is rain-and the other type is a time bomb. If you are the former, the situation is relatively lucky, usually with more than just the two packets of tissues. Should it be the latter, I am afraid the spirit of pressure on some of the relatively large.
Let her mood has been a clear reason Qianbaichong, probably because she suddenly feel that you had for a long time she did not embrace. You may also have to speak to her girlfriend a gentle tone too. Or perhaps you just joking, she said the new hot hair like Daowo. Right! I Wanglechicheng you, the best Do not criticize or derision you that the small crabs Block woman, she can not withstand an almost fragile fishes and wife to her carping. All in all, including a clear round missing the moon, tidal water, and is likely to affect her emotional reasons, and her biggest worry is that she has always worried that he is not worried about good enough, you are not worried about no longer love her , but she needs your regular confirmed. So I think you, the most direct way is to simply tell her!

I have a Cancer friend's husband told me that she asked him every day at least 10 times "Do you still love me?" And another of my strong personality of the crab Block friend simply asked her husband to say 20 times per day "I love you." You can hardly believe that right? But I swear, this is true.

I would like to, in addition to truly love her, there is no better way to live, but you must remember love her way is not tolerated. When she Naoqingxu Hou time to comfort her gentle, smooth down her feelings, you must be very sincere to tell her that her excessive emotional, cause you what kind of hurt! Your true feelings Let her know that she is sincere love you, and she will know that the amendment should moderate their own. Do not Yiwen of息事宁人, you will be the spoiled her. There is a woman at the crab strange characteristics, that is, if you do not tell her, "Enough is enough," she will continue to try, you can see to what extent she intolerance. She seems to be difficult to understand what is meant by "Enough is enough." In the end she will go to the sentiments of their own would be able to control the situation, of course, you will eventually unbearable.

I have several friends at the Crab marriage, this is the problem! In the end when she was his regret is too willful. However, in good conscience, that tolerate and abet evil husband, also how much more negative the responsibility. How to spoil her, and then to the outside to find gentle consolation? Strange to say, when the woman Cancer feelings of a problem, they will take actions you greatly Superintendent Ya; sad sad while crab Block woman is likely to tell her husband's new love, it should do dishes for his tastes may be from her laundry washing his good suit to "them" the residence of her more likely to use credit cards Sifangjian help him pay the bills. You do not believe that? I swear, this is true. When my friend told me the crab at their great deeds, I almost fainted. They like this, when Hou some heinous too, and some also good too, Hou. She needs you pet her, she relative spoil you. Block of crab woman, a man spoiled possession he seems to be the best way, even if you left her, and so you want to clear, sooner or later, they will return to her side, because no one will love, as she has done you. Therefore, you should understand that you must learn to use appropriate methods love her. If you know how to get along the way, she will be a rare wife. Love you can enjoy the sweet life, she is to your home without a reservation paid. Block crabs there is a female, that is, although she usually a fragile, and emotional, not a look you live, but when you really face the reality of the problem, and even help you despair at the Hou, she would have become a strong toughness of women. You can like children dropped into the embrace of the same mother to rely on her, she will give careful medical your wounds, a strong tide over the difficulties accompany you. Most of the women are very Cancer money concepts, know how to live within our means truth. (Unless she has a spending increase, or at Constellation) usually she will feel frustrated (that you do not love him), Hou will spend money indiscriminately to Bengfu inner unrest.

For the sake of your wallet, often to her "love feeling" is sensible. Please use a mature and responsible attitude to love her! Not spoiled her, and then blame her! Xiezi really love you will be a very rich reward. I sincerely hope every one of my friends at the crab can have a good man.

Cancer woman ""
Cancer woman's sex is some shy shy, it is very difficult to sex as a game! If the other side has a fun attitude, she would feel uneasy and even angry.She is hidden in places, the other side is sincere in the circumstances, can be guided into the situation. But once the situation, which is to completely Addicted to the. Cancer woman's sex can be very passionate, but may be a lack of skills and a sense of humour.